awful

I feel awful and honestly I'm not sure why..... Well we fought today- it was the worst one yet i think, he is stressed and i am stressed, he gets mad and i get madder... half the time, its not because of me at all..I feel like shit and cannot get this off my mind, what he said- even though i know now after he never meant it and i believe him absolutely however; i still feel bad...for whatever reason, shiity never the less..i keep thinking these what if's but then i feel even worse thinking about it all more..I'm happy yes, but i dont feel like me any longer and its crappy because i dont know where she went or what it may take to get her back. I'm talking like she's isn't me or is foreign outside of me- which is how this feels. i am in school which is where i want to be, but somewhere along the lines- something changed or something came back. i'm more offensive now and don't take shit anymore- i feel like i digressed to about a year or two ago. i dont want to ever be that whore again. it feels awful.